How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
