Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You are a genius and a whore.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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