If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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