If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
