he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
