Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
