If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize
