i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
