I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
