We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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