Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
