I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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