I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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