Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
