Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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