I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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