She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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