just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
