Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i think i just lost a toe
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
