she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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