good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
