My brain says no but my pants say off.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
