Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
