oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
