A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
