Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have aggressive nipples.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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