Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hippo gnu deer
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
