Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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