Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
