It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
