I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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