Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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