I want to stick my p in your. b.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize