I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
