i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you win again, gameday.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
