how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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