Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
