actually, I'm a sock model
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
