hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
