No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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