How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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