Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So much Jack, so little girl.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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