So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
