My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You pole danced in your parka.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
