Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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