just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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