My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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