do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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