I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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