dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
