The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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