therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
