come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
