Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
