that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
