I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
