Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
