does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
