I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
