We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
