I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
