I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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