i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
