Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
