Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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