i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
