Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
