Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
